What does it mean to be a good neighbor? One effective contribution on the subject is Morgan Neville’s documentary released earlier this year on the life of Fred Rogers called, Won’t You Be My Neighbor? Millions would like to see a return to the lost art of neighboring. Most of us have neighbors, but neighborliness is missing. Emptiness and loneliness leave many people with a deep desire to be known. In New England, often tagged as a socially cold region, churches have a special challenge/opportunity to add warmth, understanding and practical help to the social climate.
One person who has recognized the need for a renewed vision of neighboring is Tom VanAntwerp, Campus Pastor at Grace Chapel, Wilmington, MA. In a conversation with a member of the Thriving in New England team, Tom shared his perspective on the second greatest commandment and what it means for New England today.
Each year Grace Chapel selects a guiding theme to help shape and focus their church life and discipleship. This past year’s theme, Go! An Adventure in Kingdom Living, acted as a backdrop to a 6-week sermon series Tom helped pull together titled, Neighbor. This particular series was born from the desire to see the congregation living out the gospel in their everyday lives. “This isn’t a church growth strategy,” Tom prefaced, “It’s simply what Jesus calls us to do.” Mark 12 was the catalytic passage which ignited his passion for neighboring and was the foundation of the series itself. Here, Jesus declares that the greatest of all commandments, after first and foremost loving God completely, is to love your neighbor as yourself. If this is truly the second greatest of Christ’s mandates, then surely it should be taken seriously.
Of course this begs the question, who are our neighbors? Certainly Jesus was not restricting that identification to those who live across the hall or with whom we share a driveway. Tom challenges us to see our neighbors as “the people whom you encounter throughout the day.” This broadens our perspective and highlights our influence. Therefore your neighbors are your coworkers, family members, and friends; the barista making your latte each morning; the woman you see every weekday on the bus during your commute; your fitness instructor, boss, librarian, or the boy who bags your groceries every Thursday afternoon. In each of our lives we have routine. If you want to know who your neighbors are, just trace your daily life and you will discover them there.
Tom explained the critical relevance of this topic here and now. He described where we are at in this cultural moment as a place “where people are asking, is the church good or bad for society?” Churches across the nation are being put on trial and tested to see if they can prove their worth. Otherwise they fail and are marked as meaningless - or worse, downright harmful. This is particularly true in New England. “The fragrance of Christ is beautiful,” Tom commented, “We need to demonstrate that the church is good for the city.” What does this require of churches, particularly in this region where attending church is a counter-cultural move in and of itself? In Tom’s words, it means churches must understand that “we don’t just exist for ourselves.” He adds that the church isn’t just the church when we gather at the church. Though it sounds simple enough, the implications of his point are significant. “The church is the Kingdom,” he said, when we’re “at work, partnering with social agencies, or coaching our kids’ soccer team.”
Many of the people out in our communities see the church as indifferent, prejudiced or hurtful. In contrast, Tom declared that “we have to be a community that cares about people around them.” He shared that he and his wife have been living in their neighborhood for over a decade. Eventually they decided to open their home to host neighborhood gatherings. These events aim simply at connecting neighbors with neighbors. Both long-term residents and newcomers have attended, creating a network of people to go deeper with over time. At these gatherings, Tom has opens the floor up for people to share, asking them, “Is there anything you want your neighbors to know about you?” This gives them a chance to be open and even vulnerable, thereby creating intimacy and trust. “There’s something beautiful in having everyone share something about themselves,” Tom commented. The answers could range from people introducing themselves and disclosing how they ended up moving to the neighborhood, to others sharing how their beloved dog recently passed away. Over time, this sort of sharing creates a community that knows one another well and can be there in time of need. It’s a prime example of what Jesus means by love your neighbor as yourself: get to know those around you. Become just as aware of your neighbor’s needs as you are of your own desires. Celebrate your neighbor’s victories as you would celebrate your own joys.
Does this sound like evangelism? Sure, it’s nice to love other people and bring them into your home, but what makes Christians distinct in practicing hospitality compared to those of other faiths - or of no faith at all? The answer is not to use neighboring as a strategy to get people to come to church. In their sermon series, Tom explained that they looked at several different biblical examples of those who were neighborly throughout the New Testament. Stories like that of Jesus feeding the crowds of thousands or of the Good Samaritan uncover the truth that the way of Jesus cares for people’s practical needs. When your neighbors are hungry, feed them. When they are hurting, lend a healing and helping hand. However, caring for our neighbors goes beyond caring for their physical and social needs alone.
Tom also highlighted the story of the Woman at the Well in John 4. As she was about to draw water from the well, she was surprised by a Jewish man who dared to ask a Samaritan woman for a drink, and then seemed to know the whole history of her life. Through her encounter with Jesus, this woman learns there is more than the physical world we see, hear, and taste around us. She is thirsty for something more - something only the divine can provide. Convinced that he had life’s answers, she is transformed into an unlikely missionary and reaches out to her hometown neighbors. They too met Jesus, and many became believers. This story goes to show that “small talk sometimes leads to big talk,” as Tom puts it. Don’t be too quick to write off seemingly insignificant encounters with your neighbors. With the Spirit present, even what appears to be a simple conversation has the potential to develop into something truly life-changing.
Will we dare to believe that Jesus wants to reach our neighbors? So where to begin? What’s going on where you are?
By Anneliese Deckert
Published October 3, 2018
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